Nook, Line & Sinker

Sorry! Where was I? Ah, yes

They say of the fable that businessmen croon

That dog may eat dog, but he pays the raccoon

Filling up the coffers, billing up the otters, watching them squirm

Yes, lions and tigers and bears owe my firm

I've made mountains from founding these half-finished villages

Run-down little towns that I fill up with idiots

Declare one the mayor, flare their ego a little bit

Charge them with fixing it, then charge for the privilege

You buy land at a high deposit when I drop profitable hovels on it

Each island is like a wallet 'cause I got the whole place in my pocket

You crank the land value with every little bit of spit and polish

If I get a better tenant than you, well, thank you! Everything's demolished!

It's about time I took some more payments from your good selves

I'm just balancing the books, but I'm still waiting on the bookshelves

You promised you'd build me once you'd patched the fence

Don't like it? Then bill me! I'll just add it to the rent

Never seen a game so twee

But there's administration fees

For this little haven we

Chiselled from complacency

And we pay it gratefully

Slaving every day for the

Price tag attached to the back of our New Horizon

Raccoon in a tie that racked up a tycoon

Can't handle my mess? You'd best stick with Splatoon

You'll be knee-deep in seashells before we hit noon

And that's hardly a dent in the debt you've accrued

You may wonder why we keep moving around

The houses you buy aren't that structurally sound

A few years will lapse, they collapse to the ground

And these suckers cough up for another new town!

You call me amoral? Is that what you think?

Well, at least I've not driven my assistant to drink!

Poor, dear, little Isabelle is caught in a living hell

It's fishing and yard work, not building a citadel

Overworked, underpaid, that poor, little Shih Tzu

Managing a bunch of animals, I guess it really is a—

I guess you see the pun there!

Some mayor you turned out of be, if I do say so

How fitting, in a town full of critters, that the only human is the scapegoat

Never seen a game so twee

But there's administration fees

For this little haven we

Chiselled from complacency

And we pay it gratefully

Slaving every day for the

Price tag attached to the back of our New Horizon

Extortion has seldom been so inoffensive

No matter the tax and whatever the rent is

They flock and they herd just to pay their expenses

With no picket lines, 'cept a few garden fences

Read between the lines and you might find the margins

So eat up the jargon, don't argue the bargains

Or I'll add a "No Pets" clause, it wouldn't be hard

And I'll have every resident live in the garden

Never seen a game so twee

But there's administration fees

For this little haven we

Chiselled from complacency

And you pay it gratefully

Slaving every day for the

Price tag I've slapped on the back of your New Horizon

Right! Rent's due!

And I think you owe me some nuts or fruits or fish or something