Fine, I'm Fine

Alright

Fuckin' fine

If you want, then I can finally admit it

It took... what, almost twenty-three years?

Of doubt, and fear, and all that bullshit

I've hidden behind this screen, with a referential, blackened sheen

I've poured my heart out dry to keep the sadness pristine

But for the first time in this whole damn life that's been thrown at me

I think I might actually be happy

♪

It's been a while, so let me be myself, complete and sincere

This is the first fair night in a long, long time spent drunk, but not bookended by tears

The grin I wear is real and it crawls from ear to ear

The one place I'd like to be most is right damn here

I've got good friends I can trust and lean on

Though I've not had to use them yet

Their company is an end to outlie the means

On the bell curve inside my head

I've got more than I could ever expect

And not one has effected a way to end my respect yet

The list of hit/miss ratios shows that they're all a sure-shot bet

So the stakes I've placed on a losing race

Are a fallacy of sanity and a couple of mates

I do what I want and can afford to eat?

I mean

Fuck me, mate. What more do you need?

I cannot pretend anymore that this life can still be beat

So, please

Let this endless torrent of fear flow away

I don't need a rose-tinted lens to enbrighten these greys

They're plenty vibrant. The frame merely gets in the way

Why dwell in the past when this life is so vast?

Oh, it's splendid today

It's been a while, so let me smile with my eyes instead of my teeth

Oh, it's a strange, new thing when a crocodile cries its tears out of joy, not deceit

I'm sure it won't last long

But for now, it's such a treat

To bring the happy man out from underneath

And let's be clear now: I don't deserve this

That fact is firm and unyielding

Your good, kind platitudes and idolizing attitudes

Don't earn me the power that I'm wielding

But I'm happy I can hide inside the walls I created

Hated by the me that thought he'd die in complacent hatred

This time, I'll look him straight in the eye and say

"Mate, I fucking made it"

'Cos everybody's saying that I'm never gonna make it

But I'm taking on the chin each hit of hesitation

If an idea's got good legs then it'll run

And if you're learning to walk, you gotta make sure you're having fun

I work with, at, to and for one, and I sure as shit ain't done

Not yet

Let this endless torrent of fear flow away

(And when shit hits the fan, scream mayday)

I don't need a rose-tinted lens to enbrighten these greys

(When you find who you are, you find it easier to say)

They're plenty vibrant. The frame merely gets in the way

(Make tomorrow your heyday)

Why dwell in the past when this life is so vast?

Oh, it's splendid today

And when I die, know that I'm

Just a product of place and time

Such convenient luck for a thick-headed dumbcunt

Failing my way on up

And know that I am not blind

I see the shadow lurking behind

But just for now, let me write something that's upbeat and bright

While it's still light

Let me say I'm fine

Without it being a lie

Let this hellish tempest of rage run its course

(Forgive the hunch, but I have an inkling)

I don't wanna hide behind this state of mind anymore

(That I don't think what I've thought is worth more than what I'm thinking)

If it's a trick then consider me fully immersed

(Do you think doubt will make it hurt less?)

I'll enjoy the sun before darkness has come

And this light has dispersed

♪

Yeah I'm doing good mate