Who's Gonna Take Me Home

Bartender's sittin' them shots on the bar

Those last two Eagar bombs hit me hard

My best friend left and took the keys to my car

Who's gonna take me home?

That dad gun Jimmy, he took me out back

Pulled a Marlboro cigarette out of his cap

Now I remember why I quit all that

Who's gonna take me home?

Well, I can't drive, I can't walk

And I'm a little too high to crawl

I'll hold up this wall

Till I come down or the room stops spinnin'

Gonna stand right here and chill out for a minute

Standin' in the men's room waitin' on a stall

Lean my head up against the cool concrete wall

Hey, there's a few numbers I guess I could call

Who's gonna take me home? Where's my cell phone?

♪

Well, I can't drive, I can't walk

And I'm a little too high to crawl

I'll hold up this wall

Till I come down or the room stops spinnin'

Gonna stand right, oh, wait just a minute

Twelve little hotties crammed in a back booth

With a Bachelorette all drinkin' Vermouth

Lucky for there's just enough room

Well, hello girls, next round's on me

Toast a few drinks to the bride to be

Close the town down and then we'll see

Who's gonna take me home?

Yeah, who's gonna take me home?

Yeah, who's gonna take me home?

♪

I can't drive

I can't walk

I'm too high

To crawl

Who's gonna take me home?

Great day man

You think, we're done, closing down this bar

You coulda give me right on

Alright, brother