Bull Rider

I was sittin' in a barroom one rainy afternoon

Tellin' stories about rodeo and listenin' to a tune

Rodeo starts tomorrow in this one horse town

So Bill took our names and put our entries down

I went to the office the next day to see

What bareback horse I had and pay me fees

I looked on the list but my name wasn't found

I thought Bill might have forgot to put me down

I looked on the board and I happened to find

My name was on another list, I was in the bull ridin'

My knees began to knock and my face began to sweat

And I heaved and gagged on the rodeo office steps

Well, I may be a fool, but a coward I'm not

So I borrowed a bull rope with a bell in the knot

I walked into the arena with them other bull ridin' fools

And walked down to the chutes and found my bull

Then I put my rope in the middle of his back

And had some cowboy pull out the slack

And then I wrapped the tail around my hand and back and said

"Boys, open the gate just a little bitty crack"

Well, the bull hit the gate with his head

And I could see over his hump that his eyes was red

He bailed out of there with a big snort and beller

And something inside of me told me I was yeller

Well, the dust and hair and flies come off his hump

It whisp to my nose as he made another jump

And the stink of it all was more than I could stand

So I jerked my wrap and opened my hand

Well, he jumped in the air and made one more turn

As the rope slid through my hand, it sure did burn

He flang me down in a great big heap

And right in the middle of me, he did leap

With his feet on my belly standin' in place

That dirty old bull blew snot in my face

So them damned old bulls you can run 'em in a chute

And put your ropes on them big galloots

But the closest you're gonna find me to their stinkin' hair

Is to help some other fool get flug in the air

Boy, the next time I see Bill, I'm gonna break his dang neck

Enter me in the bull ridin'

Shoot, I think I'll enter him in barrel racing or something