Gus: The Theatre Cat - From The Motion Picture Soundtrack "Cats"

Gus is the Cat at the theatre door

My name, as I ought to have told you before

Is really Asparagus, but that's such a fuss to pronounce

That they usually call me just Gus

My coat's very shag, I'm thin as a rake

And I suffer from palsy which makes my paw shake

Yet I was in my youth quite the smartest of cats

Though no longer a terror to mice or to rats

For I'm not the cat that I was in my prime

Though my name was quite famous, they say, in my time

And whenever I join my friends at their club

Which takes place at the back of the neighbouring pub

I love to regale them if someone else pays

With anecdotes drawn from my palmiest days

For I once was a star of the highest degree

I have acted with Irving

I've acted with Tree

And I like to relate my success on the halls

When the gallery once gave me seven cat calls

But my grandest creation, as I love to tell

Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell

♪

Then, if someone will give me a toothful of gin

I will tell how I once played a part in East Lynne

In a Shakespeare performance I once walked on pat

When some actor suggested the need for a cat

♪

And I say now, these kittens, they do not get trained

As they did in the days when Victoria reigned

They do not get drilled in the regular troupe

And they think it is smart just to jump through a hoop

And I say as I scratch myself with my claws

Well, the theatre is certainly not what it was

These modern productions are all very well

But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell

That moment of mystery when I made history

As Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell