Mungojerrie And Rumpleteazer - From The Motion Picture Soundtrack "Cats"

Mungojerrie

And Rumpelteazer

We're a notorious couple of cats

As knockabout clowns

Quick-change comedians

Tight-rope walkers

And acrobats

We have an extensive reputation

We make our home in Victoria Grove

This is merely our centre of operation

For we are incurably given to rove

We are very well known in Cornwall Gardens

In Launceston Place and in Kensington Square

We have really a little more reputation

Than a couple of cats can very well bear

If the area window is found ajar

And the bedroom looks like a field of war

If a tile or two comes loose on the roof

Which presently fails to be waterproof

If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chests

And you can't find one of your winter vests

Or after supper one of the girls

Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls

The family will say

It's that horrible cat

It was Mungojerrie

Or Rumpelteazer

And most of the time, they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

Have a very unusual gift of the gab

We're highly efficient cat burglars as well

And remarkably smart at a smash and grab

We make our home in Victoria Grove

We have no regular occupation

We are plausible fellows who like to engage

A friendly policeman in conversation

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner

Their minds made up that they won't get thinner

On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens

Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes

And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow

I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow

For the joint has gone from the oven like that

Then the family will say

It's that horrible cat

It was Mungojerrie

Or Rumpelteazer

And most of the time, we leave it at that

Mungojerrie

And Rumpelteazer

Have a wonderful way of working together

And some of the time you would say it was luck

And some of the time you would say it was weather

We'd go through the house like a hurricane

And no sober person could take his oath

Was it Mungojerrie

Or Rumpelteazer?

Or could you have sworn that it might have been both?

And when you hear a dining room smash

Or up from the pantry, there comes a loud crash

Or down from the library, there comes a loud ping

From the vase which that was commonly said to be Ming

And the family will say

Now which was which cat?

It was Mungojerrie

And Rumpelteazer

There is nothing that ought to be done about it