Woe Is Me

I'd just like to take one moment to thank my two fathers,

Who've been so supportive of me in all of my endeavors

Thanks, dads!

We hate losers (No one likes a loser)

Which is why we discipline

God hates losers...

(But He loves you)

...because losers do not know how to

Win

And we have faith in you, honey

Yes, we do, yes, we do

Go get 'em!

I hope you can love me, America

I'm gunning for first prize!

Here's why you should love me, America

My needs I cannot overemphasize

I make myself crazy

Being what my dads hope I'll be

But what about me dads?

What about me?

Jesus Christ!

What about me?

Practice your breathing, Logainne

Though I practice yoga, I don't breathe

I try not to disappoint

But still I

Disappoint the dads who my friends mock

Kids are mean

Kids'll talk

All my so-called friends roll their eyes

They're incredibly petty

Because my dads are my dads and alright enough already!

Woe is me

Woe is me

Which is why I gotta win this spelling bee

Take a picture for her BM

Don't call her BM, Carl! (Dad!)

Sorry, her birthmother

Peggy Jenkins!

Who'd be very proud if she could see you spell!

My birthmother lives in Kansas, MO

In a trailer, in a park.

Tornadoes

Every now and then she sends a card:

"Life, and men" she writes, "are hard"

She would like to meet me when I'm grown and I burst like a comet!

But I'm so stressed by my stress, I just wanna up and vomit

Woe is me

Woe is me

Which is why I gotta win this spelling-

Be smart, be cool, be an adult

Be remarkably adroit in social situations

Woe is me (Be smart, be cool, be smart, be cool)

Woe is me (Be smart, be cool, be smart, be)

Why is why I gotta win this

(Which is why she's gotta win this)

Spelling

Bee!

Bee!

Bee!