Adequate Wordsmith

Way back in twenty-sixteen I went and penned a ditty

About the rapper I was clearly just pretending to be

But I think I've been improving pretty evidently

And there's a million people out there who would tend to agree

Now who am I to attest that I am really clearly the best at rhymes?

Will I be left behind or stand the test of time?

Success predestined? We've yet to find

Though far be it from me to come and claim superiority

My vids that hit the milly are quite plainly a majority

Oh honestly, did you not check my policy?

I always rap in character and hardly ever drop as me

Historically, you probably first heard memes on TikTok of me

Extolling on the horrors of a corporate economy

So, if you sit back and have a listen, let me have a moment

I truly haven't had a minute yet to have a go at

Doing that cool rapper bit and penning bars and flows just

Supercalifragilisticexpibraggadocious

Negotious, verbosity velocious

In quality? Ambrosious - thesaurus adiposis

I may not be an A-lister but I'm still on a list

Of rappers who get paid, so I must make pretty dope shit

Mitosis and Moses could never split opinions so well

Like mitochondria, I'm the powerhouse of the sell

Defined a genre decrying those with mountains of wealth

And then made millions on the million of you sounding my bell

You're listening to the missive of an adequate wordsmith

But because they're insecure they felt they had to confirm it

So, if you're a bit indifferent you clicked the track

Here's a few more minutes you won't get back

Am I a rap god? No! But I'm surely in the rap clergy

Spitting like confession in the booth when I rap nerdy

Father, forgive me I have syn-co-pa-ted

Beat's off but they'll never make their tracks dirty

Rocked up to the strip with my duds all glistening

Got more drip than octuplet christenings

Guttering ripped and it's thundering, drizzling

One gets dipped, every youngster's dribbling

Pack more paper than Dunder Mifflin

Bars so hard that my puns need chiselling

The ladies, the gays and theys wanna play

But mum's here visiting

Spit so hot I gotta keep my verses in urns

Other rappers green with envy – call it Verdigris burns

Though, perhaps maybe I'm milking it where words are concerned

My bars are buttery smooth because they're perfectly churned

My similes and metaphors are intricately clever

Yours are lacking, rhymes are flagging

Like you've written them in semaphore

I'm chilling on the beach, you're adrift and yet to get to shore

You never made the sales, so I think you'll have to peddle more

Yeah, I'm doing a whistle break

What are you gonna do about it?

Just wanted something to space things out before the bridge starts

Oh, here we go

All these years chasing meaningless numbers

Hoping to flee from this feeling of numbness

Trying to drown all my doubts and my fears in the light of acclaim

For eternity now my self-worth has been tied

To the number of characters you have to type

Into YouTube before it can guess you are writing my name

Was it worth all the work and the stress and the pain?

All the worries that lurk and obsess in my brain

All the nights without sleep, all the fatigue and tired

All the ungodly gallons of caffeine required

My self-image anxieties I haven't resolved

And the endless offensive of admin involved

The unwinnable game of just trying to keep

To an algorithm changing its mind every week

All the months spent in crunch penning verses and rhyme

To complete dissolution of personal time

I make songs about games but the irony's clear

That I've not actually played one for fun now in years

All the torturous exhaustion contorted and mixed

With the knowledge my job could be instantly nixed

Google could, should they want, kill me off with a click

Now I'm here at the top, was it worth all of this?

Yeah

Yeah, actually, it was

I'm in a Lamborghini

I can't even drive

You're listening to the missive of an adequate wordsmith

Though their need to sound impressive is quite frankly absurdist

So, if you're a bit indifferent you clicked the track

Here's a few more minutes you won't get back

You know I put the sauce in the cans like I'm Heinz beans

New resolution to command your entire screen

Won't take a rest – improvising a line spree

Drop off the cuff and escape from the crime scene

Foes all flake when they're faced with my rhyme schemes

Ninety-nine problems, yeah, my van's out of ice creams

Flows got you froze as you stand in my high-beams

Struggling to take it all in – size queen

Linguistically I get them in hysterics

The folks who write the dictionary are referencing my lyrics

Pork-manteaus go ham, pen indelibly-soteric

Yeah, I built my own brand, but I'll never be generic

I'm the godfather of verse

I write lines that are quite hard to traverse

I slay that They/Them mayhem every day

And I'm just starting the hearse

'Cause it's your funeral, baby

You can hate me, but I can't be deterred

Yours are marginally worse than the bars I've rehearsed

Come and spar with a nerd, watch your ass get interred

This vid has got you thinking I've a life of lavish luxury

Assisted by the fact it's done entirely tax deductibly

That's why I could quite comfortably still find the cash to budget these

Impressive looking stacks of totally artificial currency

I can't believe I do this as a job

And I'm so insanely grateful for the view here at the top

Though I'm afraid that I forgot to pack a hat to doff

So, after all these years I've still no way to cap it off

You're listening to the missive of an adequate wordsmith

I got Wilde self-importance if I have to be Ernest

So, if you're a bit indifferent you clicked the track

Here's a few more minutes you won't get back

More imperviously wordy than a Catholic service

I'm delivering prime rhymes like an Amazon purchase

Spit squeaky clean like I snack on detergent

Got the beets in the bag, you're a satchel of turnips

Lyrical flips? I pack a spatula permit

And I'm wiping out foes like a laminate surface

Endless bags to the Banks, yeah I'm practically perfect

This Lambo was a rental and I have to return it

I've a bunch of fine rhymes that you haven't all heard yet

And I really didn't want to end the track with a surplus

Like mechanical Kermit with a hand up his circuits

An incredible rhyme that really hasn't a purpose

I'm on so many levels need my landings refurbished

Now I'm wondering if this ending bit was actually worth it

'Cause should they develop extra ends to candles I'd burn it

Do you think they'll notice if I reuse adequate wordsmith

One million subscribers

Wow!

Thank you so much

I'm gonna regret doing this here

Because it means I'll have to lip sync it in the video

Which will be a nightmare

But I'm doing it for you

'Cause I love you

I'll see you at two million I guess?

I mean, probably before then but you get what I mean

Oh, oh

We- we didn't do a fade-out did we?